On Friday, Complex magazine stunned the world by coming up with the idea of putting photos of 40 physically attractive females in a slideshow and dressing it up as a story. And so was born “The 40 Hottest Women in Tech,” which included our fearless leader, Sarah Lacy, who’s got, like, three or four babies in her right now, according to recent estimates. Inspired by Complex’s insight and taste, we saw fit to publish a response article that listed tech’s hottest male specimens (you will, no doubt, see what we did there). This is that response article. Today, we present to you PandoDaily’s 41 Hottest Men in Tech.
1. Alec Saunders, VP, developer relations, BlackBerry
First he wooed us with a stirring lip-synched cover of REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You,” and then he sealed the deal with a loin-rattling faux rendition of Etta James’ “At Last.” It’s almost enough to make us buy a BlackBerry.
2. Larry Ellison, Oracle CEO
The man has a smoldering gaze so intense it seared off his eyebrows.
3. Jeff Bridges, actor from the movie “Tron”
You just know you want a piece of his hard disk.
4. Vladimir Putin, President of Russia
Okay, so he vetoed a law that would have been helpful to Russia’s answer to Silicon Valley, Skolkovo, but he did pilot a hand-glider on a failed attempt to guide a flock of cranes to safety. That’s high-tech enough to warrant inclusion in this list. Also, pecs.
5. Al Gore’s beard (deceased)
Admit it – if Al Gore’s saucy follicles didn’t exist, there’d be no Internet.
6. Kevin Roose, tech writer for New York magazine
Oh, wait, you thought we meant Kevin Rose? Hahahahahahahahahahaaha.
7. Kevin Rose, founder of ServingAmericanPatriots.com
Yep, this guy.
8. The cast of Game of Thrones
Hey, pretty much all of them use iPhones.
9. Henry Blodget, Business Insider CEO
10. Greg Kumparak, TechCrunch reporter
Can you deny those puppy-dog eyes? Okay then, how about the puppy?
11. Robert Scoble, not really sure what his job is
No description required.
The sexiest half of Apple’s founding team.
13. Matt Mullenweg, WordPress founder
Actual hot guy. I cannot get my girlfriend to stop talking about him. “He’s soooo cute!”
14. David Holmes, PandoDaily reporter
He’s like a cuter Ashton Kutcher!
15. Ashton Kutcher, actor
He’s a passable likeness for David Holmes!
16. Astro Teller, captain of moonshots at Google[x]
17. Justin Timberlake, pop star, actor, golf course owner, MySpace investor
Okay, he got a bit weird after he went all Sean Parker-y, but nothing can touch the freshness of his ‘N Sync days. Sexy didn’t need to be brought back, JT – it was already brung.
18. Jay Rosen and Clay Shirky, journalists and academics
Possibly the same person? Just throwing it out there.
19–25. These Facebook employees
Just a small sampling of the tasty treats cloistered away at 1 Hacker Way.
26. MG Siegler, venture capitalist
According to his Twitter profile, Siegler roams “the badlands” – which are apparently, like, somewhere between SOMA and Steve Jobs’ backyard. If you don’t find that hot, you’re probably not breathing.
27. Bill Gates, Microsoft founder, philanthropist
Lovely smile, but it’s those anti-malarial eyes that put him over the top.
28. Evgeny Morozov, academic and writer
Possessor of relentlessly cheerful disposition. Dontcha just wanna squeeze him?
29. Julian Frachtman, dude
Successfully re-installed Microsoft Office 97 on my computer in high school.
30. Justin Bieber, pop-star, Vanilla Ice impersonator
Nothing is sexier than 36 million Twitter followers. Well, except maybe puberty.
31. Kaifu Lee, founder of Innovation Works and ex-President of Google China
Perfect helmet hair.
32. Nick Denton, owner of Gawker Media
Amid all the kerfuffle over his sprawling media enterprise, and subsequent New Yorker profile, there’s one salient fact about Nick Denton that most commentators are way too politically correct to mention: he is the hottest media proprietor on Elizabeth Street. No, make that the hottest media proprietor in SoHo – ever. (Ref.)
33. Slade Sohmer, founder of HyperVocal
Once compared the author of this post to Joel McHale. Token former executive producer for Lou Dobbs. (Check him out on Twitter.)
34. Jerry Moran, US Senator
Hottest advocate for high-skilled immigration that Capitol Hill has seen since John Adams.
35. Om Malik, owner of GigaOm
So hot that in the film “Shattered Glass” he was played by Rosario Dawson.
36. This spot intentionally left blank
37. MC Hammer, rapper, entrepreneur
Probably by this point he’d be open to anyone touching it. Works for us!
38. Josh Kopelman, First Round Capital
We hear he likes it Gangnam Style. (Disclosure: Kopelman is an investor in PandoDaily but had no idea this list was being compiled.)
39. Ryan Gosling, actor
Once owned a Geocities page. (Probably.)
40. Kevin Rose, partner at Google Ventures
This entry included by error.
41. Jonah Peretti, CEO of BuzzFeed
He puts the buzz into BuzzFeed, know what we’re saying? (We’re saying he’s hot.)