Three PandoDaily staffers have declared themselves “April Fool’s Grinches,” curmudgeonly bastions of loathsome intolerance for such a storied holiday. Our social media wizard/guru/ninja/maven and Ashton Kutcher lookalike David Holmes has been “editing video” all day to avoid an April Fool’s post much like this one. Resident fuddy-duddies Sarah Lacy and Erin Griffith have sworn off the holiday as well, calling it “stupid.”

I don’t believe that. I believe that there is magic in this holiday, the one day it is acceptable to do whatever the fuck you want without repercussions. They may as well have called it Millennial Day, or Bueller-day, or some other fun name we’re going to pretend I thought of. This is where the magic happens, kids.

I mean, when else would you be able to read something like this in response to Google’s jest about shutting YouTube down and not feel the need to poke the author with sharp, pointy objects?

Is this Google taking the recent outrage over the death of Google Reader and 38 other services (and many smaller ones) Google has killed over the years? It’s nice that they have a jolly enough spirit to make fun of themselves, but with Larry Page at the Helm, it really is not such a huge leap of imagination to see YouTube suddenly at risk of extinction. Perhaps that‘s what the empty grave in Slate’s Google Graveyard is actually reserved for.

Or, if that bit of comedic gold isn’t quite your speed, get a look at the new “Guardian Goggles,” which promise to bring the thoughts and opinions of the Guardian’s editors right into your field of vision, all day every day.

Guardian Goggles

Mmm, them are sexy.

Alright, fine. Maybe you didn’t think those were clever enough either, you unpleasable (which is now a word, haha April Fool’s), handsome readers. Maybe you’d prefer it if your visit to your favorite website, Reddit, was covered in gobbledygook (which actually is a word, surprisingly enough) and nigh-unusable, as seen here:

Screen Shot 2013-04-01 at 3.48.37 PM

Okay, okay, wait. Fine. That one wasn’t the best either, and I apologize. Clearly this thread needs to see some of Google’s beautiful April Fool’s action, including its latest invention: Google Fiber Poles.

If that shit doesn’t get you laughing, nothing will. Seriously, nothing in the past, present, or future possesses the ability to make you breathe quickly through your nose or — if you’re feelin’ frisky — chuckle to yourself at your desk if you didn’t find that hilarious.

This is some high-brow stuff, guys. Seriously. I didn’t even realize some of these were jokes at first glance — Guardian Goggles? Google Fiber Poles? Henry Blodget wanting to be allowed back into Wall Street? Everyone’s stepped up their game this year, for realz.

That’s what’s so great about April Fool’s: The constant betterment of meta-jocular wisecracks. The not-at-all depressing way everyone complains about April Fool’s jokes and then posts their own anyway, because theirs isn’t like the others, they swear. The spontaneity and unplanned nature of each joke re-capturing childlike exuberance among even the most jaded of souls. Simply beautiful.

And to think, I only nearly vomited half a dozen times today.