middle age facebookFacebook has a press event scheduled for Thursday. The invitation says, “A small team has been working on a big idea. Join us for coffee to learn about a new product.” Josh Constine over at TechCrunch thinks it might be a news reader. Whatever it is, there’s a good chance it will: a) suck; and b) fail.

Why the cynicism? Because Facebook has a terrible track record on “products.” Aside from its News Feed and Profile pages, what does it do well on the product side? I can think of nothing. Its strengths, rather, are in its connections.

This argument doesn’t require an in-depth meditation on all that ails Facebook’s latest product offerings. All you need to do is look at the media coverage surrounding its last four major announcements. The headlines below tell you all you need to know about just how hard Facebook has sucked when it comes to launching something new. It’s not pretty reading. (And we’re not even talking about its mobile apps.)

Facebook Home

Business Insider: Facebook Home Is a Flop: Employees Know It and Users Don’t Like It

TechCrunch: Facebook Home is Losing Steam in the Charts… Fast

Salon: The Facebook Home Disaster

Graph Search

PandoDaily: Facebook’s Graph Search: A Tool for Marketers Disguised as a Tool for Users

PBS MediaShift: Why Facebook’s Graph Search Could Be Doomed

Gawker: ‘Men Interested in Men in Tehgran’ and Other Dangerous, Real Facebook Graph Searches

Facebook Gifts

PandoDaily: Facebook Gifts Has Had a Rocky Debut, Say Multiple Sources

Ad Age: Is Anyone Clicking the ‘Gift a Gift’ Button on Facebook?

TechCrunch: Facebook Gifts Sales and Revenue Off to a Slow Start

Poke

Bloomberg Businesseek: Facebook’s Poke is a Wild Success – for Rival Snapchat

Mashable: Facebook Poke App Is Frustrating as Hell

The Next Web: Poke Down: Facebook’s Snapchat Copy App Falls From Top Ranks as Quickly as it Rose