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Sex with a dinosaur? Check. Foreplay with a werewolf? OK. Sexual congress with a unicorn? Yep. Doing the nasty with a zombie? Sure, fine. But on Amazon Kindle’s self-publishing platform there’s to be absolutely no “pornography” or “offensive depictions of graphic sexual acts.”

You can understand why authors who create and sell books on Amazon Kindle’s self-publishing platform might be confused. For one, what “offensive” means to Amazon’s corporate censors is fuzzy. All the Kindle Content Guidelines say is, “What we deem offensive is probably about what you would expect.”

This mush-mouth term of service boils down to an inability to adequately define “erotica,” which Amazon Kindle accepts as suitable content, and “pornography,” which according to its guidelines is not. Merriam-Webster defines erotica as “works of art or literature that deal with sex and are meant to cause sexual feelings.” Pornography is “movies, pictures, magazines, etc., that show or describe naked people or sex in a very open and direct way in order to cause sexual excitement.” The question is when does erotica bloom into porn? I suppose, like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, we’re supposed to know it when we see it.

One speciality that exists on that blurry line between erotica and pornography is monster porn, also known as “cryptozoological erotica.” These are self-published stories that often involve sex between and among humans and elves, cyclops, extraterrestrials, werewolves, unicorns and dinosaurs (to name a few). There’s real money to be made. Some authors have had their works downloaded more than 100,000 times.

Every once in a while Amazon will perform a porn purge, usually after a news story makes hay out of the number of “obscene” titles available as Kindle ebooks. The most recent one occurred in October and found “hundreds of e-books that celebrate graphic rape, incest and ‘forced sex’ with young girls available for sale from online retailer Amazon.”

Authors who sell incest stories claim to have found a loophole (no, that’s not a euphemism) by proclaiming that no one under 18 is portrayed in the story and the daddy in daddy-daughter incest stories is a stepfather and therefore not related by blood. Nevertheless, in the October porn purge, Amazon removed titles such as “Don’t Daddy (Forced Virgin Seduction),” “Daddy’s Invisible Condom,” “Caught and Captured by Daddy and Brother,” and “Bad Daddy! A Rough and Reluctant Virgin Sex Encounter Between ‘Daddy’ and Daughter.” Just typing these titles makes me want to wash my hands.

Once a book is banned from the Kindle store, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end. Authors sometimes set up fake accounts and republish the books under different titles and different author names. It doesn’t filter questionable stories before they are made available in the Kindle store because the company follows a reactive publish-first-and-review-later approach to Kindle ebooks. Still, Amazon can make it difficult for readers to find these books, and that absolutely kills sales.

An author caught up in Amazon’s latest porn purge is Virginia Wade, who published a series of Kindle books depicting sex with Bigfoot, a wild woodland creature who is one well hung Sasquatch. Some of the titles include “Moan for Bigfoot,” “Cum for Bigfoot,” and you get the idea. The stay-at-home mom was putting her daughter through college on the money she was making — until Amazon pulled the plug. She’s tried other genres but those sales pale in comparison.

If history is any guide, two upcoming targets likely to become ensnared in Amazon’s monster porn purge may be two college students, Alara Branwen and Christie Sims, who have received a lot of media attention for publishing dinosaur erotica like “Taken by T-Rex, “Ravished by Triceratops,” and “Taken by the Pterodactyl.” Most of their ebooks come with a warning (like this):

This is a tale of beast sex. This story was written to unlock your darkest fantasies and innermost desires. It is not for the faint of heart and is not your mother’s erotica. All of the sexual descriptions found in this book are very explicit in nature. It’s not suitable for someone under 18 years of age. Read at your own risk.

A few of the reviews are works of art in their own right. “It is very uncommon to find accurate depictions of dinosaur on woman sex,” wrote one five-star reviewer for “Taken by the T-Rex.”

If, like me, you have found it increasingly difficult to satisfy your need to recount old times, then this literary masterpiece is for you. No other author has truly been able to both arouse and entice my intense desire to mate with a T-Rex as accurately and successfully as Christie Sims. I would not be surprised if this book outsells the Bible and brings about a new age of literary enlightenment.

Another offered:

Step 1: Find something that no one is having relations with, such as a dinosaur, centaur, or toaster oven.

Step 2: Write and publish a 17-page ebook featuring someone having relations with that thing.

Step 3: Profit!

Sage advice for the entrepreneur erotica writer in all of us.

An erotica writer who has published several titles as Kindle ebooks told me that after every Amazon purge there’s always a “next” thing. When Amazon decides to stamp that out, too, something else emerges. Once upon a time it was pseudo-incest. It isn’t completely banned from the Kindle platform, though many of the books were purged, and those that remain (or added after the fact) are not easily findable on the site.

As one self-published author with a bent for incest put in her (his?) bio:

ATTENTION: Amazon considers many of my titles to be way too hot for their general sales section. To find all of my titles, search for D.B Churchill after selecting books or Kindle store from the search categories.

After monster sex, what will be the next new hot porn — er, I mean, erotica? — category?

“Tech could be cool, if the tech were cool,” says an erotica author I asked. She suggested kinky sex with a robot, “because then you wouldn’t get in trouble for bestiality.”

I guess AI in that case wouldn’t denote artificial intelligence, it would stand for “artificial insemination.”