google-glasssssThe lights are low and smooth R&B fills the room as you stare into the eyes of your lover. What’s your first move? Do you go in for the kiss? Gently run your fingers through your partner’s hair? Or do you excuse yourself to grab a pair of cyber-goggles so you can capture and quantify your lovemaking?

If you answered cyber-goggles, then these British developers have an app for you: Sex With Glass.

Built at a wearable tech hackathon in London, Sex With Glass lets two humping Glass-wearers view their sexual trysts in real-time from either partner’s perspective. You can also set up an iPhone across the room to capture a third perspective, switching between views using the Glass swipe gesture. It’s basically like bringing a creepy mirror-covered bedroom with you wherever you go.

Sex With Glass also accepts a number of voice commands. If you want suggestions for new positions, just say “Give me ideas.” When you’re done using the app? Say, “OK Glass, pull out.”

There’s more: Not only does it capture your weird cyborg sex in the moment, it also records it so you can watch later with your mate. The footage “disappears” after five hours. But if enterprising hackers can recover Snapchat photos from phones, then there may be ways to extract this footage too, creating a potentially major stumbling block for adoption.

(I reached out to the app makers about these concerns and will update the post as I hear back)

Despite being described as a “Segway for your face,” Google Glass has been ripe for experimentation by sex-tech tinkerers and pornographers. Last June, “Tits and Glass” became the first Glass app for viewing and sharing pornography. The following month, porn star James Deen released the first adult movie ever shot on Google Glass.

Along with showcasing the opportunities Glass poses for both pornographic and private sex, the Deen porn also underscores some major user interface challenges these app makers face. For example, when the two stars of the video talk dirty to one another, Google Glass offers unsolicited dictionary definitions for their filthy language. At one point, Glass recognizes the high heels worn by the female star and asks Deen if he’d like to purchase them on eBay. This is done for comedic value of course, but it highlights the awkwardness that can arise when connected technology enters the bedroom.

Sex With Glass is certainly unique, and if there are couples who think this will help spice up their sex life, more power to them. But between the privacy issues, UI challenges, and the fact that even porn stars struggle to make Glass look sexy, it’s hard to imagine Sex With Glass offering much appeal except to a small set of customers who are as enthusiastic about technology as they are about watching themselves have sex.

[illustration by Brad Jonas for Pando.]