Screen Shot 2014-08-10 at 5.51.51 PMEarlier this week, Airbnb founder Brian Chesky appeared on The Colbert Report to explain to Colbert precisely how Airbnb “is different from home prostitution.”

But Chesky is far from the first tech founder or senior exec to guest on the Comedy Central show, and wasn’t even in the top ten best appearances.

Here’s the complete, absolutely objective, ranking in reverse order…

13) Rob Rhinehart (Soylent)

Best moment: Discovering that Rob Rhinehart is as bland and unappealing as his gloomy product.

Best quote: [SC] “What was the inspiration? Did you see someone in a coma with a feeding tube and think ‘I’ll have what he’s having?'”

* * * *

12) Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy (Snapchat)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: Colbert asking if they’ve made a profit. (“Or does that disappear after ten seconds too?”)

Best quote: [SC] “Is starting an app in college the new version of starting a band?”

BM: “I think it is, yes.”

SC: “Which one of you is the cute one?”

* * * *

11) Biz Stone (Twitter)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: The entire interview during which Stone appears to forget that he wasn’t the only founder of Twitter.

Best quote: [BS] “We will get a chance to talk about my new book, right?”

* * * *

10) Brian Chesky (Airbnb)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: All the weird audience cheering.

Best quote: [SC] “You’ve got Uber, you’ve got Task Rabbit, you’ve got you guys. Eventually will everyone under the 1% just be… helping each other?”

Compare and contrast: Chesky at Pando Monthly

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9) Alexis Ohanian (Reddit)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: Colbert schooling Ohanian on his Daily Show past.

Best quote: [SC] “Why should everybody get a vote on what we should all be reading? That is cultural socialism.”

* * * *

8) Jimmy Wales (Wikipedia)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: Colbert’s business model intervention.

Best quote: [SC] “Product placement is so easy. Under Marie Antoinette’s page, just have an Entenmann’s ad.

* * * *

7) Craig Newark (Craigslist)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: A reminder of when tech founders used to be really, really likable and humble.

Best quote: [SC] “I want to thank you for killing the American newspaper.”

* * * *

6) Steve Case (AOL)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: The debate about whether the sharing economy is the antithesis of the American idea.

Best quote: [SC] “Would you like to apologize to all businesses for all the lost work hours due to people jacking off all day on the Internet instead of doing their job?”

Compare and contrast: Case at Pando Monthly

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5)  Eric Schmidt (Google)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: Colbert asking Schmidt why it took Google four years to decide it didn’t like China’s laws.

Best quote: [ES] “We see your searches, but we forget them after a while.”
SC: “And we’re supposed to trust you on that.”

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4) Elon Musk (Tesla)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: Colbert asking Musk to compare his lifestyle with that of Sir Richard Branson.

Best quote: [SC] “Where do you find time for your secret identity as Batman?”

Compare and contrast: Musk at Pando Monthly

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3) Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook)

The Colbert Report

Best quote: [SS] “I tell men if you want to have more sex with your wife, don’t buy flowers do laundry.”

Best moment: Sandberg explaining how women are disadvantaged in negotiations because when they advocate for their rights it makes them disliked, which means they don’t get what they deserve.

* * * *

2) Jonah Peretti (BuzzFeed)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: The moment at the beginning where Peretti’s brain is desperately trying to figure out the PR implications of returning Colbert’s “Merry Christmas.” (Close second: Peretti sincerely referring to the Ten Commandments as an early ‘listicle.’)

Best quote: [SC] “Why would you pollute your brand with journalism? You don’t see Dancing With The Stars cutting out of their show to report Chicago gun violence.”

Compare and contrast: Peretti at Pando Monthly

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1) Bill Gates (Microsoft)

The Colbert Report

Best moment: The discussion about the relative importance of information and passion.

Best quote: [BG] “Polio was down to 250 cases last year… in the entire world, so in the next six years we’ll get it down to zero and it’ll become the second disease to ever be eradicated.”