By now we all know that Foursquare, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter exist to (a) brag about how freaking cool we are; and (b) make us feel shitty when our friends are so much cooler than us.
As if being cool wasn’t difficult enough, properly gloating about it online is straight-up exhausting. Not to mention, FOMO leads to social media addiction, and Facebook breeds major jealously and bitterness.
Never fear! Just in time for winter hibernation, I present CouchCachet, a Foursquare hackathon project. The app delightfully takes the work out of looking awesome by faking it on all your social networks. “It won’t make you cooler,” Brian Fountain said at the New York Tech Meetup last night, “but it will seem that way.”
Here’s how it works: You connect CouchCachet to your Foursquare account through its website. You check in at whatever venue you’ve set as your home on Foursquare, and CouchCachet automatically serves up a fake itinerary. Approve it, and you’re set to humblebrag your ass off, without so much as lifting a finger.
The app tweets out the lyrics from the hot indie band you went to see, posts photos of young 20-somethings in skinny jeans to Instagram, and waxes poetic about the local microbrew you’re drinking on Foursquare. Voila, you are insta-cool.
Choose from a handful of themed nights out, like Artsy Fartsy for a night at museum parties, or Outdoorsy for a skiing adventure or something.
So you don’t get busted, CouchCachet automatically chooses venues that none of your friends have checked into before. And just so you can keep your story straight, you’re sent an email digest of all the engagement your cool doings got while you were catching up on Downton Abbey in a Forever Lazy suit.
“For the first time ever you can finally be who you want people to think you are,” Fountain declared. “It’s life without the hassle of living.”